Marriage Meetings, They Sure Destroy Everything Don't They?
by Tsukio Moon
Summary: A GinTsu Fanfiction. Tsukyuo has a marriage meeting. It's not with Gintoki and he get's a request to stop it from Hinowa for the sake of Tsukuyo. Throughout all of this. He has an uneasy feeling. It's not jealousy. Definitely not jealousy. Him, jealous? Never Ever.. or? Rated: T for foul language. I don't own the picture
1. Chapter 1

**Marriage meetings, They sure destroy everything.. Don't they?**

* * *

 **An GinTsu fanfiction. Hope you enjoy reading it. And please. If you find some wrong grammars or have any criticism. Please send a review :).  
**

 **Also, i don't own anything but this Fanfiction. The characters and anime belongs to our always lovable Hideaki Sorachi-sensei.  
Warning: Rating T because of foul language and swear words. This is Gintama.. what did you expect? Also. Maybe some OOC:nes. Sorry about that.**

* * *

Gintoki the white permed samurai and former white yaksha walked through the streets of the red light district Yoshiwara with his two ever so "loyal" companions. To his right is Shimura Shinpachi a 16 years old Terakado Otsuu fanboy and not to mention a glasses wearing cherry boy and to his left is Kagura a pure and innocent (In Gintoki's eyes but clearly not in everyone else's) and somewhat annoying 14 years old, little girl.

"Are we there yet Gin-chan, My legs hurt, aru!" the little girl left to him complained.

"shut up, you're annoying. And what do you mean with my legs hurt!. YOU'RE RIDING ON SADAHARU FOR GOD'S SAKE!" Sadaharu is Kagura's always so faithful and large white inugami pet thing.

"Huh, God's sake? If you want god's sake then go ask it from Dionysos **[1]** or something!?"

"what? Dionysos. You've walked into the wrong culture you little brat! And i don't even think he's capable of making sake!"

"Kagura chan, Gin san calm down. Also Gin san didn't mean it like that Kagura chan." Shinpachi tried to calm the two down. _Seriously, they're arguing over nothing!_

"What do you mean Wrong culture? Dionysos is a god right? And he's capable of making wine, right? And sake is wine, right?. So i don't see the problem here, aru!" Kagura said as she completely ignored shinpachi's comment.

People began staring at the two arguing with each other as they walked down the street. Shinpachi just wondered how this could escalate from "My feets hurts" to an argument about a wine god. That has nothing with this to do. They just got a request from Hinowa and Tsukuyo about something they wanted to talk about in person and this happens instead.

Shinpachi didn't know what he should do about these two arguing monsters as a kunai suddenly flew towards them and landed on Gintoki's forehead. Blood spurted heavily out of his head as he fell to the floor like a lifeless stock.

"Gintoki, You should be more polite around children. You're after all their role model, aren't you?" a feminine voice said from somewhere.

Gintoki took out the kunai from his head and more blood molded out as he did so and then he got up on his feet as he looked from where the voice came from. He looked towards one of the rooftops at his right and saw a green haired and purple eyed young woman with a (cool) scar in her face crossing her left eye. She had a neutral expression on her face. Like she was happy to see it but tried to hide.

"Who's a role model? The only thing I see is a failed and old samurai who lives as he wants and with no future whatsoever. a m-a-d-a-o **[2]** , aru." Kagura suddenly spat out while looking Tsukuyo's way. The green haired and purple eyed woman.

"he's lucky he even has a home. He never pays the rent anyway.." Sinpachi added in as a desperate cry for attention. If he couldn't get attention because of his straight-man character. Then to hell with it. He was gonna let loose as everyone else. Or so he thought.. He was still ignored though.

"Who are you calling a madao! If someone's a madao then that's Hasegawa, Don't lump me in with the likes of him!" Gintoki retorted back. Now angry. Somewhere, far away from Yoshiwara. Sneezed a particular madao that was on a job interview.

How dare she. He was still in his twenties. His late twenties. But still. He wasn't in his thirties yet. Also he had a roof over his head. However maybe not for long if he doesn't pay his rent soon. It was already 4 months late. But he couldn't bother with that now.

"Uhm, Tsukuyo san. What about that request of yours? What did you want to talk about?" Shinpachi asked as he made his way towards the young woman who had jumped off the roof while they talked. He had also realized that they had arrived at Hinowas home/shop. They must have arrived while arguing and never realized it. That must explain the kunai. She must have tried to get their attention just like him but failed too. He too was to busy stopping the two annoying pests so he didn't realize her either. For a last resort she must have thrown a kunai at Gintoki in a try for a cool entrance instead. And. She managed it. Lucky her. Not being ignored to the bitter end like him.

Tsukuyo blushed as the mention of the request. Hesitating whether to say it or not."uhm.. Yeah. The. The request. Umm. Please come in. Me and Hinowa will explain it to you as soon as you come in and were sure no one's listening!"

All three yorozuya members looked with confusion in their eyes at the blushing woman. Huh. _She's blushing and talking about a request no one can hear. I'm confused. Hella confused. What. Is it about murder or what? Who blushes over something like that. Is she a masochist.. no no no. She can only be a sadist if she blushes about something like that. Yeah. that's it. She's a drunk terminator sadist._ As soon as Gintoki was done with his thoughts another kunai hit his head.

"ouch, what was that for you drunk - err i mean. uhmm. young lady?" Gintoki somehow managed to save himself from a third kunai with that.

"It felt like you were insulting me in some way. So i threw it at you.." Tsukuyo answered a bit annoyed.

"huh! how can you know if i'm insulting you in my head or not. Can you read minds. Are you Psychic? Or did you read my mind via telepathy? Yeah. That must be it. That's definitely it." he retorted.

"You just admitted that you insulted me in your mind. What exactly was you thinking. What were you thinking. Tell me! You low life!"

"who's the low life here? Am i the one killing people as fast as they break one rule? (Referring to the old Tsukuyo when Hosen ruled over Yoshiwara and she killed people on the order of Hosen or when they broke the law of Yoshiwara) Do i live in a city filled with prostitutes? DO I SELL MY BODY?" he shouldn't have screamed that last one out loud. Because all the prostitutes near them heard that. And they were definitely not happy to hear it. Not. the. least.

Kagura and Shinpachi just looked at the two adults as they argued about this and that. They didn't even do anything when Gintoki got a swarm of angry prostitutes after him. Kagura just laughed. Shinpachi just gave up on everything. He couldn't care less about anything anymore. And Tsukuyo. As the nice woman she is. Tried to help him. Even though he had insulted her. And when the prostitutes stopped chasing him. She threw up a kunai up his ashole. She may be nice. But she was not gonna let this one slide. Also. His scream when she did so took the price.

Really. They're supposed to be the adults in this fanfiction. So much for a role model.. really. Shinpachi thought as he kept his distance. He didn't want anything to do with this. Kagura on the other hand. Was laughing like an ape on the floor. She almost couldn'tbreath anymore. And she couldn't care less about the stares she got.

* * *

They were now inside Hinowa's shop/house. They were sitting around a table filled with food made by Hinowa of course. Kagura was swallowing down all the food before her while talking happily with Seita. The brown haired and green eyed young boy. Not so much younger than her either. Gintoki Sat in the middle of Kagura and Shinpachi while Sadaharu was sleeping in a corner of the room. He couldn't sit properly as his ass still hurted from that goddamn kunai from earlier that he spent 10 whole minutes getting out from his beautiful ashole. Of all things to take his ashole virginity. It just needed to be a kunai. Ah well. It didn't matter anyway as he isn't gay. The more seconds and minutes that passed, The redder Tsukuyo's face got.. Seriously. Gintoki was wondering what sort of request can make her blush like this.

Tsukuyo didn't say a word. hinowa was the only one talking. Because of what Hinowa was saying. It wasn't that hard to understand.

"you see. Uhm. I did a little mistake not so long ago.." Hinowa started with an expression strong with regret. She was regretting something. And Gintoki wanted to know why. Shinpachi too. Because his ears became even sharper. Kagura didn't care tough. She just continued to talk with Seita about sukonbu. For some weird reason. He liked that pickled seaweed too.. Never mind. Let's go back to Hinowa, Gintoki, Tsukuyo and Shinpachi.

"Eh, what sort of mistake could that be? Did you accidentally throw all the money you were gonna spend on pachinko in the river. Don't feel down. It has happen to us all you know.. It happened to me just yesterday. Trust me I know how it feels. So you don't need to feel regret. I'll help searching-"

"COULD YOU STOP WITH YOUR NONSENSE NOW GIN SAN AND LET HINOWA TALK? WHO CARES IF YOU ACCIDENTALLY THREW ALL OUR MONEY IN THE RIVER! Wait a minute.. YOU DID WHAT!?" Shinpachi was now furious. He often uses all their money on pachinko and he was used to that. But how the hell do you accidentally throw all the money in a frigging river? Why did he even throw them in the first place? He's so stupid. His boss is seriously so stupid..

Everyone looked at Shinpachi and Gintoki now. Hinowa with a smile on her face as always. How does she manage to always wear that smile anyway? Kagura with disgust and disbelief towards her leadder in her eyes. How could he do that. What about her egg on rice, aru?The eggs are out so they need to buy new ones. But now they don't have any more money so how are they gonna do that, aru? Kagura was angry and disappointed. Seita just looked confused at the two males and Tsukuyo was as well disappointed at Gintoki. And she didn't even hide it.

"Well, well, Calm down Shinpachi kun. I at least didn't spend all the money on pachinko this time. Did i?" Gintoki tried to save himself as he always tries to do. And as many times before. He fails.

This only made Shinpachi angrier.. what the hell do you mean with _at least didn't spend all the money on pachinko this time. Did i?_ No.. HE THREW THEM IN A RIVER INSTEAD THAT IDIOT!

"NO YOU DIDN'T SPEND THEM ON THE PACHINKO. BUT YOU THREW THEM IN A RIVER INSTEAD? HOW THE HELL IS THAT ANY BETTER YOU IDIOT PERM HEAD, ARU?!" Kagura joined the argument. She was angry too. What about her egg on rice!

"Shinpachi, Gintoki and Kagura. Calm down. We don't have time to argue over some money. We'll still pay you for the request so it doesn't matter anyway." As always. Tsukuyo saves Gintoki. He's lucky shes here. Or he would be dead meat by now.

All 3 of them calmed down as soon as they heard the words _money_ and _pay_ in the same sentence.. well. That's how it is with flat broke people.

"Ok. Now, can i continue?" Hinowa asked softly. To hide that she was slightly annoyed.

"yes, we. The yorozuya. Will listen and do anything we can to help you!" Gintoki said with pride in his voice and his two employees nodded in agreement.

Hinowa then smiled at the three of them and continued. "good then. You see. An old male friend of Tsukuyo's came over around 1 month ago and proposed to her. Not only that he was.. kind of.. asking for marriage. And, you see. Tsukuyo had this very confused but still kind of happy look on her face. So i thought she liked him but i misunderstood. She was stunned and yeah.. I answered in her stead.." She was not smiling now. She had an ashamed expression. It was clear that she had regret over what she had done.

Tsukuyo was now bet red and Gintoki just sat there. Lifeless, like a dead stock. Was this jealousy.. no no no no. He was just shocked. That's all. He's a free samurai after all. Shoyo's student.

Kagura tried to hold in a giggle and Shinpachi tried to push back Gintoki's soul that had left his body just then and there. Literally. Hinowa just took this as a sign of her to continue so she did so.

"and he is gonna come over tomorrow for a marriage meeting with Tsukuyo and." she paused for a second and then continued "I want the three of you to do something about this. Whatever's possible. Just stop this marriage meeting. Even send him to the hospital if you need to.. As long as Tsukuyo doesn't need to hurt him. You see. She deeply cares about him as he is one of her childhood friends.." Hinowa got down on all four and begged.

"You don't need to beg us to" Gintoki who now had his soul back began to talk trying with all his might not to sound angry, annoyed or show his murderous intent. But why he was feeling like this. He did not know "Were gonna help you guys. But to make this clear.. This is only for the money. That's all. That's definitely all." He was not jealous. He was Sakata Gintoki for gods sake. He was not some sort of jealous 16 years old cherry boy. Ops. Did he just refer to Shinpachi? Ah well whatever. But still. It was this uneasy feeling in him. He had yet to meet this acquaintance of Tsukuyo. But he already hated him. Really, really much.

However, now at least he understood why she didn't want anyone to hear. A woman who gave up her womanhood or what he should call it to become the Death God Courtesan. Ofcourse it was embarrassing for her. But he still didn't like this marriage meeting. Ohh. He wanted to kill this guy.

* * *

 **Hope you enjoyed this chapter. If it is something you think I can improve or you find any grammars. Please tell me. And this is an idea that popped up into my head and I couldn't get it away. So I just made it into a Fanfiction instead.**

 **I've seen many people add "[]" after complex words or references. So i decided to do this to, to make it easier to follow what the hell they're talking about.**

 **[1] Dionysos is a wine god from the greek mythology. and in case if you don't know what sake is. It's a sort of japanese rice wine.**

 **[2] Madao - it has different meanings for the context you choose to use it in but in this case it means:**

 **(ma)ru de (da)me na (o)ssan: good-for-nothing old man. - she meant this. Well. With the whole comment.**

 **(ma)ssugu ikite no (da)inashi na jinsei na (o)jisan: old man who lives as he wants, but accomplishes nothing. - she meant this when she said "samurai who lives as he wants"**

 **(ma)tomo ni (da)karetakunai (o)toko: men no one wants to date - she meant this when she said he had no future.**


	2. Chapter 2

**\- Authors note -**

 **Seems like I was a little wrong with Tsukuyo's hair. Her Hair is actually blonde. Thanks for telling me that little-chocolatecosmos. I also decided to test out another writing style, and i actually like this one a bit more. It's not many changes from the previous style i wrote in but it should be noticeable so I'm sorry beforehand if you get it annoying.**

* * *

Shinpachi slide shut the light brown shoji doors **[1]** as he walked into the room. They were allowed to stay in the guest room over the night and Shinpachi had just got some dango **[2]** snacks for them to eat on a plate made by Hinowa.

They had been sitting in the room for a whole hour now trying to come up with a plan to stop Tsukuyo's marriage meeting, but nothing came to mind. Especially not when Gintoki were sulking in a corner of the room emitting a dangerous aura while reading his jump and a finger up his nostril.

\- Gin san, could you stop sulking? We're trying to come up with a plan here!

Shinpachi had gotten enough. His leader were just too annoying right now. More annoying like usual. He had a finger up his nose while emitting that murderous aura of his. And he had no idea why he did that. And he had a feeling it would be better for him if he didn't, so he didn't bother asking.

Kagura just took some of the dango snacks and stuffed them all in her mouth, when she had swallowed them whole she started singing to Shinpachi's surprise and Gintoki's annoyance.

\- tu ru ru ru, tu ru ru ru, Gin chan's jealous. Tu ru ru ru, Tu ru ru ru, Gin chan's jealous!

\- You little brat! I am not jealous. Who would i even be jealous at?!"

She just kept on singing despite her surrogate fathers cursings. She kept on singing her little song which made the samurai chase her all around the room with lake toya **[3]** at hand. He wanted to kill the little brat pestering him. But as soon as he caught Kagura. He just slammed her head with his jump. He just couldn't hit his little _daughter_ with his sworddespite how angry he was. So he hit Shinpachi instead.

\- Why me? I didn't even do anything! Don't take out all your fury on me you perm head!

Just as he was gonna throw the whole plate (that now was totally empty because Kagura ate everything) at Gintoki, the Shoji doors slide open and Seita walked in.

\- ah, Seita kun. What brings you here? Shinpachi greeted him. All his anger now gone. Gintoki on the other hand had returned to his sulking corner and started reading his jump again.

\- Just wanted to know if you guys came up with a plan yet?

\- I am sorry Seita kun, but we haven't been able to come up with a plan yet as our boss is currently sulking more than Kondo san after a hit from my sister..

\- Don't blame your uselessness on Gin chan you cherry boy! **[4]** Kagura insulted him as she petted Sadaharu.

\- Who's useless!? And don't call me cherry boy before a kid! I don't want him to know those things about me!"

Shinpachi was pretty embarrassed right now. Why the hell did she say that before someone who probably didn't know he was a virgin yet… his chances of looking cool good to at least one person in the world was now gone.

\- Shinpachi kun… I already knew you are a virgin.. it's pretty easy to comprehend…

Seita, Not wanting to lie. Just decided to tell the truth to the cherry boy. Nothing good comes from lies anyway he ensured himself.

\- Huh? What's easy to comprehend?! How is it easy?

Seita didn't answer and just walked out of the room now shutting the shoji doors. "

\- Oi, Seita! How is it easy to comprehend!? Shinpachi just screamed after him.

What the hell did that kid mean with. Easy to comprehend. I mean, without his glasses he was extremely good looking.. or so all the fans thought. He was also good looking with his glasses on dammit! Well in the second movie that is.. But still. In the present. He was good looking without his glasses for gods sake! He was gonna wear contact lenses from now on.

\- Shinpachi could you stop screaming and bring me some Strawberry milk instead?

Shinpachi snorted. Why should he bring that Samurai head any drinks! He just brought some dango and know he needed to get down again for some milk. Oh now when he thought about it, where was the dangos? And didn't his boss care about him?He was just humiliated to the core and he didn't even care?

\- Ah, now when you're gonna go get some milk for Gin chan can you bring me some sukonbu as well?

Now Kagura too! None of them cared about him?! Even though she was the reason he was humiliated before an 9 years old kid?

\- oi! I just got humiliated before a nine years old kid and you're not even feeling a glimpse of pity towards me? What about me? I've got feelings too you know?!

He screamed his lungs out as always. Damn those two!

\- yeah, yeah. Whatever you say pachie boy. Now. Go and get me my milk. Gintoki commented. "

\- S-T-R-A-W-B-E-R-R-Y- -M-I-L-K-. He then clarified. Though acting like his own self. He was still sulking. Tomorrow was not gonna be a good day.

\- Go get your things yourselfs. You lazy asses!

* * *

 **\- Meanwhile downstairs -**

\- Why are they so noisy up there? Tsukuyo complained to the others as she played uno with Hinowa and Seita downstairs.

\- Maybe it's the sound of their thinking. You know. About the plan?

\- I am sorry Hinowa. But that's certainly not the case. Something like that could never be the sounds of a **plan**. She made sure to emphasize that last word.

\- uno!

\- oh, Seita. You're so good at this game. Getting uno already.

Hinowa just smiled at Seita, her adoptive son. Even if they weren't related by blood. She really felt as if Seita where her son. And the same with Seita. He really felt like Hinowa was his real mom. Because in the end. It's not the blood that matters. But the special mental bond between two people.

\- back to the topic, Seita. Could you go up and see what they're doing up there?

\- I don't want to Tsukuyo neesan! I was there a minute ago and I got stuck into a really awkward situation..

\- Don't bother then, oh and i choose the colour blue. Tsukuyo said as she placed a wild card on top of the card stack.

Seita frowned when he realized that the only card he had left wasn't blue but green.

\- Eeeeh! I don't have any blue cards!

Hinowa just smiled at Seita.

\- Then you better pick up some cards

\- Yes, mom… And I was so close to win too!

* * *

 **\- The Next Day -**

Gintoki woke up and felt something heavy on top of his chest.

\- Heh? What the hell is this white thing?" He wondered while looking at his chest.

Then he realized.. That damn Sadaharu was sleeping on top of him!

\- Oi, Kagura, take this dog off of me!

He waited some seconds, no answer. He tried to look around the room but the only thing he saw was the god damn white fur of Sadaharu.

\- Shinpachi you then? Are you there? Take this thing off me!

He waited further some seconds. Nothing..When he finally needed them. They weren't there. Useless brats. He tried with all his strength to push away Sadaharu. No luck.

\- Sadaharu! Get off of me! Now! he screamed in frustration while silently hoping that the monster on top of him would listen. And miraculously he did. Sadaharu woke up with a big yawn and then walked off one of his three "masters".

Thanks god the monster had finally jumped off him. He then stood up and looked at the clock on the door. "12:40" Shit! The meeting began 10 minutes ago! No shit no one of his companions were there.

He rushed downstairs and had his kimono on. Not bothering to even try to brush his teeth or fix his hair. It was just futile anyway. His hair would just pop right back into a perm as quickly as he had done it and the holes on his teeth wouldn't stop showing up how much he even tried to brush.

He stopped running as he arrived before the Shoji doors before the room. He couldn't just walk in there without a plan, could he?

* * *

 **This was a pretty short chapter I think but i hope you liked it.**

 **[1] Shoji doors are traditional Japanese doors. Instead of open and close them back and forth like normal doors. You slide them.  
[2] Dango is a Japanese rice dumpling that are usually served on a stick with a sweet topping.  
[3] - Lake Toya, is the name of Gintoki's wooden sword that surprisingly enough can break a real metal sword and drag down a fucking helicopter.  
[4] - A cherry boy is male. Often in his late teens or higher who still haven't lost his virginity and haven't had any sexual experiences with a female.  
**

 **(I know i suck at describing things but please don't kill me** （ ﹏ ）ﾍ(=￣∇￣)ﾉ **)**


	3. Chapter 3

**\- Authors note -**

 **ALERT: A little bit of spoiler about the "Red Spider arc" This is by far the chapter I enjoyed writing the most thus far. Thanks Red Spider arc for inspiring me for this chapter xD Also this chapter came up MUCH faster than i thought. Anyway, Enjoy ^^**

* * *

\- Hinowa, Tsukuyo and Seita, may I ask who these people are? A handsome boy in his early twenties asked, he had short black hair and beautiful yellow/orange eyes. His black locks covered a little bit of his left eye. He had a black formal yukata with yellow flowers as decorations.

\- These people are Kagura and Shinpachi. Shinpachi, Kagura this is my erhm.. Friend Kou. Kou this is Shinpachi and Kagura.

Tsukuyo answered him as politely as she could and then took a smoke off her pipe. In this room where currently, Hinowa, Seita, Kagura, Shinpachi, herself, Kou, his mother Aura and his dad Kamei, all of them had formal clothes in their signature colours.. But the silver permed idiot where nowhere to be seen. Why the hell did he take such a long time? She was in a crisis here after all.

\- Ah, I see. Nice to meet you.

\- Nice to meet you too mister!  
\- Nice to meet you..

Kagura and Shinpachi answered in unison.

\- Oi Kagura, be more polite towards Tsukuyo sans friend and soon-to-be fiancé and husband!

Kagura just snorted at Shinpachi. She didn't like the thought about that guy becoming Tsukki's fiancé. It was clear as day that Tsukuyo had feelings for Gin chan and vice versa.

Tsukuyo decided to ask Shinpachi where the perm head was while Hinowa and Seita chatted with Kou and his family. Kagura just sat there frowning. She didn't like this at all. "Gin chan should be the one sitting across the table for a marriage meeting with Tsukki.. not this guy…" she thought silently for herself.

\- Shinpachi, where's Gintoki? She whispered only audible enough for him to hear.

\- I.. I don't know Tsukuyo san. We searched everywhere through the room but we couldn't find him. The only ones there was me, Kagura and Sadaharu who slept on top off some sort off pillow.

\- Whaat? Do you say that he escaped out of this mess?

\- No he would never do such a thing Tsukuyo san. Maybe he just went of to buy his jump **[1]**. It's monday afteral?

\- huh? buying jump now? Of all days? what the hell is he-

\- Uhm, Tsukuyo are you okay. You look a bit pale? Kou interrupted their little whisper argument so suddenly that both Tsukuyo and Shinpachi jumped.

\- I, I am completely okay. I am just a little bit sleepy that's all.

What the hell was she gonna do now? The idiot has probably run of to safety from all this and she had no way to get out of this without hurting her friends feelings..

His mother suddenly began to speak

\- I would be so happy to get someone like you into our family Tsukuyo san.

\- Ah ha ha, she laughed awkwardly Uhm, It's just that!-

The shoji doors suddenly flew open and a silver haired man stood in between the "frames" of the shoji doors.

\- Tsukuyo honey, I'm home!

* * *

 **\- Some moments before from Gintoki's side -**

What the hell, I need to come up with a plan. And that quickly. Damn those two brats for not waking me up? And why did they just let me sleep in, in the first place!?

He heard a man talking. Was this her probably-to-be fiancé? He got curious so he opened the shoji doors a little to hear everything better.

\- These people are Kagura and Shinpachi. Shinpachi, Kagura this is my erhm.. Friend Kou. Kou this is Shinpachi and Kagura.

He heard Tsukuyo talking. Aaah, they've already begun! He began to panic. What should he do? What should he doo?

He desperately tried to come up with a plan when that jackass of a man suddenly began to speak again.

\- Uhm, Tsukuyo are you okay. You look a bit pale?

What? He was playing the "polite" card on her huh? That little piece of shit. "I am sure that he acts all nice and polite now but after their wedding he will turn out to be the shittiest scumbag ever who abuses his wife. I won't let that happen Tsukuyo I swear!"

Then he suddenly remembered that time when they pretended to be lovers when they infiltrated the Benigumoto (red spiders). It's worth a shot.. It's now or never..

In a lack of time and his anxiety slowly building up he hastily shot up the shoji doors and looked as calm as ever with a calm expression on his face while uttering the words that took everyone by surprise, even himself.

\- Tsukuyo honey, I'm home!

* * *

 **\- Now back to the presence -**

\- Tsukuyo honey, I'm home!

\- Ehhhh?!

\- Whaaaat?!

\- Huuuuuh?!

Kagura, Seita and Shinpachi screamed in unison. Tsukuyo looked with a what-the-hell-did-he-just-say? expression, Hinowa just looked as if she had the time off her life and Kou and his family looked terrified at the man.

\- T.. Tsukuyo H.. honey? Tsukuyo? W.. what's the meaning of this? I.. Is he your husband?

\- Yeah! yes, he, he's my husband. Ah ha ha. Right dear? "what took you so long dumbass?"

Gintoki walked towards Tsukuyo and the others and took a seat between Tsukuyo and Kagura. He took his arms around Tsukuyoäs waist to make the act even more convincing and Shinpachi couldn't stand this situation anymore even though it had just started so he fainted.

\- O.. Of course we are! Kagura chan, our daughter. How are you feeling. "I'm sorry, A huge ass dog slept on top off me!"

\- I.. I am feeling good. A.. And you father?! Are you good? "don't drag me into this you shithead of a samurai!"

The three talked with each other through their minds as if it was the most normal thing to do while holding up a facade towards Kou and his family. And it miraculously worked. Seita just sat there like a statue. Not managing to proceed what's happening. Kou looked as if his future had been destroyed and really embarrassed (well it actually had, His future with Tsukuyo that is). His parents on the other hand was beginning to get furious. How dare this woman have a husband and not mentioning it and letting it proceed to a marriage meeting with their son?

\- I am feeling a little bit tired my dear **DEAR** daughter, morning jogging from 8:30 to 12:45 sure drags one's energy.. But now when I'm back home with my dear daughter and wife it feels like all my energy has come back "Who are you calling shithead, It's thanks to me that you have a roof over your head you little brat!"

He made sure that his words would hurt that bastard whom's name he did not now. This was a war. And he was not gonna show any mercy. Those who show mercy in a war are the ones who loses first.

\- Uhm, If your _morning_ jogging laster from 8:30 up until now could it really be called a morning jogging then? Kou suddenly asked. In confusion. His heart felt as if it was ripped to pieces bu a thousand swords.

\- What are you talking about, If you begin the jogging in the morning then it doesn't matter when you end it it's still morning jogging. So, who are you guys? And what are you doing in my **and** my wifes home? "And did I forget that I'm the one paying your food you little brat?"

Tsukuyo felt how her cheeks turned redder and redder when Gintoki took a stronger grip around her waist.

\- We were having a marriage meeting.. but **your** wife never told us she had a **husband**! His father answered towards the silver haired samurai. He was enraged. How can this woman whom they've known for years do something like this towards their son?

\- I, I can explain. I.. I tried to tell you that i had a husband but you guys never let me a chance to tell you.. eh he.. "Forget about roof and food you idiot! Didn't I and Hinowa ask you not to make me hurt his feelings. This is the clear opposite of that!" she screamed in her mind conversation with the yato and samurai.

\- Mother didn't mean any harm. Please don't get angry at mom! Kagura put on a sad face with cute puppy dog eyes and made some crocodile tears come out. "Let's just forget about this losers feelings. He's ugly anyway (handsome). Also can I have some food?"

If She was gonna get dragged into this mess more than she already was then the least she could do was to play along.

\- Ah, Kagura my child don't cry! Gintoki tried to _calm down_ his daughter and wiped off the crocodile tears of her face with the sleeves of his yukata. "Forget about food you brat! But she's right. Forget about this losers feelings. He's nothing anyway. I say we dump him in a dump, he looks like he's from there anyway so it would just be like sending him home!"

\- what, are we the ones who has done something wrong now? When your wife's totally the one who started all this? His mom suddenly butted in.

\- Who started what? Did you guys even give her some time to give her opinion about this _marriage_ meeting? Gintoki tried to defend Tsukuyo the best he could. He had helped madao in a similar situation so it shouldn't be any problems.

\- We asked Hinowa of course and she said that Tsukuyo gladly would like to marry our son. His mom continued her little rant.

\- Well Hinowa doesn't have much of a brain anyway so that doesn't make any sense. Also my wife is the one who's answer you should listen too not her's!

As soon as he ended that comment Gintoki felt something heavy hitting his head and fell straight dwon to the ground. "That brainless woman had hit him! She's just like Otae!"Why? Why did he meet gorilla women wherever he where? And if it wasn't gorilla women then it was drunk terminators!"

And as he finished another comment in his thoughts a kunai struck his head as he was lying on the floor. "The drunk terminator had hit him with a kunai!"

Kou's family was scared of what they saw before them. The samurai that was sitting before them just a second ago was now lying deadly as a stock on the floor with a big bump and a kunai on his head.

\- You just insulted me in your head again didn't you?

\- I.. I don't k.. know w..what you are t..talking.. about? Gintoki stumbled with his words as he tried to get up.

When the three people before him suddenly saw that he had blood covering his face as he stood up they did not hesitate to run away from there while the two men screamed like girls and the mother screamed like a man. Hilarious indeed.

\- gyaaaaah!

\- Yaaaaah!

\- uuuuuuuh!

As the three people ran of Seita finally managed to proceed what was happening and began laughing hysterically, Shinpachi came back to his senses and scowled at Gintoki for being late **and** reckless. Kagura had walked off towards the kitchen a long time ago.

\- ah, they ran away? Isn't that good for you Tsukuyo san? Hinowa gladly commented for the sake of her friend.

\- I.. I don't know… I.. don't really know what just happened.. She took a smoke off her pipe while looking blankly towards the shoji doors the three people had run out off. "what the hell had just happened in this very room?"

* * *

 **I hope you liked this chapter xD. This really was fun writing. Next chapter will probably be the last. Also sorry for not updating "The Perfect Mission" But I just don't get any ideas of what i'll do for next chapter. So I would really like it if you sended a review on that fanfiction on some ideas and this fanfiction on what I can improve. Thanks alot for reading ^^ And sorry for making such a blunt end to the meeting. I just wanted it to be more humor so I did the best I could.**

 **[1] Jump or more like Shonen Jump is a weekly published Japanese series for boys/teenagers with shonen (male lead) manga in it such as Gintama, Hunter x Hunter, Naruto etc. It's published every monday if i remember correctly.**


	4. Chapter 4

**\- authors note -**

 **I said that this would be the final chapter but it got quite long. It's a bit of GinTsu in this chapter. But I promise next chapter really will be the last one. This one got quite long so I decided to divide the final chapter in two.**

* * *

\- Ah, They finally left. Thanks god

Gintoki looked satisfied with himself. As if he had just won the olympics or something similar. He had a suspicious smile on his lips. He had clearly won over that bastard.

After several minutes of nagging at Gintoki, Shinpachi had finally stopped which was a big relief to him as he didn't want to hear anymore of his coworkers nagging.

Seita had calmed down from his laugh attack too. He had laughed so hard that he couldn't breath anymore and almost peed his pants. Kagura was also back from the kitchen with a mountain of food. Just. For. Herself. Her azure colored eyes were shining with lust towards the food she steadily held in her hands while walking back to the table.

\- Thanks god what? You made me hurt Kou's feelings. You've destroyed my whole friendship with him! Tsukuyo was angry at him, he had just destroyed her friendship with one of her only childhood friends that she still had. She was so gonna make him pay for this later.

\- He was no good anyway. I am sure he just wanted to get into those pants of yours. You've given up on the life of a woman right? So I don't see the need for someone like you to have someone like him!

\- He didn't want to get into my pants! What the hell are you talking about you idiot!? Tsukuyo blushed over the sudden statement. She quickly switched to tsundere mode and threw insults at him.

\- I know all off that stuff already, playing the _nice and polite_ card just to hook the girl he wants. Then treat her like shit. I read it in one of my jumps not too long ago!

And a punch came flying and hitting the back off his face making him crack to the floor.

\- Just because you read it in a jump doesn't mean that all boys do that just because they're nice and polite you perm headed idiot! And isn't jump for boys? Are there even any romance in it?

\- What was that for you drunk terminator? I swear he's just another perv-

And another punch which sent him crashing into the wall this time.

They now had a full ongoing argument which Tsukuyo clearly won with her insults and sharp kunai's that always seemed to find their way towards Gintoki's forehead.

Gintoki's sharp and smart comebacks didn't help him in this situation. Not towards a full fledged tsundere ninja who can kill you in a heartbeat.

Hinowa just smiled at the two of them. "what a nice pair, having Gintoki as a son in law wouldn't be such a bad idea after all!"

\- Shinpachi! My gelly hurts. carry me to my room, yes? Kagura rubbed her swollen belly as if it was a baby inside when in reality it was just kilos of food.

\- Kagura chan it's belly and you reap what you sow! Shinpachi just answered her bluntly with aq tired tone in his voice. His eyes weren't any better. He didn't care about anything anymore.. Why would he carry her? He had gotten enough already, first the ignoring, then the marriage meeting plan. Then the honey part. And him fainting. And now Kagura's stomach?. Nope he couldn't take this anymore. His straight man character had reached its limits this time for sure.

\- You are rude, yes! It's the job of a man to carry a woman to her room if she's drunk, yes?

\- There's so many wrongs in that comment so that I don't know where to start! First of all, you're no woman! Second, you're not drunk! and third, it's not your room!

Shinpachi screamed at her. Even if he had given up on life itself. His straight man character where still on with full force.

\- You're no man either megane. You're a virg-

\- Aahhh! That's enough Kagura chan, That's enough!

He put his hands over her mouth. He couldn't allow her at any means possible to finish that sentence.

Gintoki and Tsukuyo, Kagura and Shinpachi continued their arguments until sunset fell upon them. Shinpachi and Gintoki got to bed with blood and bruises all over them while Tsukuyo and Kagura went to bed with proud smugs on their faces. They had obviously won. With just a **little** bit of violence.

Seita looked horrified at his sister and friend. They were dangerous.. definitely too dangerous. He would make sure not to enrage any of them in the near future. Or any future whatsoever. He wanted to get at least 18 before dying thank you very much.

* * *

Tsukuyo woke up around 3:00 AM at night. Her eyes full of energy. She just couldn't sleep. She was angry at the perm head for destroying her friendship with her old friend but grateful at the same time. All these emotions held her awake. Maybe she should take a patrol.

"If i can't sleep then I could at least take a patrol or a drink?."

She decided for the first one as she knew fully aware that she got drunk pretty fast.

She walked down the stair and out of the shop/house's front door. Only to find Gintoki sitting on a bench just beside it.

\- You never change huh? Going on a patrol this late at night. How many times do you intend to repeat this? It has already happened in both the manga and anime once on the red spider arc. Do you intend to make a similar situation in this fanfiction?

\- What are you babbling on about? I'm just taking a patrol and that's all. You don't need to make this into more of a drama than it already is!

She took a smoke of her pipe and blew out some smoke.

\- I thought you would blow it at my face again..

\- I will, next time. So get on in again!

\- Oi! I am older than you! Respect your elders. I can already feel my legs going numb!

\- You're still in your twenties! And what was that husband and wife part anyway?

\- You played on at it with me so I thought you understood!?

\- Of course not. Why would I. Who walks into a marriage meetings and says "I'm home honey" anyway?!

She screamed the first and last part out loud. There were something seriously wrong with this samurai's head.

\- Me obviously!

She just glared at him. Did she seriously have feelings for this pitiful man? He barely has a roof over his head.

\- Are you just gonna stand there and glare at me as if i was the biggest mistake ever made? Come and sit here instead or your legs will get numb.

\- I am a trained hyakka ninja. My legs won't get numb just by standing here some minutes..

\- Whatever just come here.

\- Fine...

She sat beside him on the bench. Both of them looking at the stars together. It went silent and it felt wonderful for both of them looking at the stars in this silence all alone. But they didn't have a clue how the other felt obviously.

Gintoki suddenly broke the silence

\- Tsukuyo. does it exist a reason why you didn't want to marry that man.? I mean, I am sure you would've done it if Hinowa wanted you to.

\- I am not that old Tsukuyo anymore from the yoshiwara ruled by the night king.. I am the Tsukuyo of this new yoshiwara. I have my own will now you know. And that is to protect this city. Nothing more.

\- I see. what a pity..

\- Huh?

\- Shit, did I say that out loud?

\- Obviously you did. What do you mean with what a pity?

\- Ah look! I think I saw an ufo!

\- Idiot! Ufo's are everywhere at this day and age! Don't try to change the subject!

\- It's nothing. Let's go back in shall we? It's getting cold.

He was desperate to get off of this topic right know. Why the hell did he say that out loud. He thought he had mastered his own mind by now. Hell he even talked with telepathy just some hours before!

\- It was already cold when I got out here, answer me Gintoki!

\- Man, what a pest. Stop it. I'll give you 300 yen. So please just stop it!

\- Gintoki! Seriously I am asking you what's a pi-

She found herself unable to talk when something smooth pressed against her lips that only lasted for some seconds. When his lips parted from hers she finally understood what just had happened.

\- wh.. wh… what do you think you're doing!?

\- Kissing you so you'll shut up of course.

\- Wh.. wh… wh… what!

She took him by his wrists and threw him inside the house with a loud crack.

\- What do you think you're doing jackass! Kissing someone just to shut 'em up!? I'm gonna kill you Gintoki!

A gloomy aura surrounded her. And her beautiful purple eyes were now filled with rage. And it was all for Gintoki to taste.

\- I… I was joking Tsukuyo! I was joking! He cried in a desperate try to save himself from getting into sweet land sooner than he had anticipated.

\- Joking? So the kiss was only a joke for you? I am so gonna kill you. Yorozuya Gin-chan. Any last words?

The aura around her got even thicker, even deadlier, even… even worse for him. Her eyes weren't only filled with rage. They were piercing through his entire soul.

She took out a pair of kunai's as she made her way towards him inside the house. He was dead. He's definitely dead.

He quickly prayed his last prayers towards the seven gods of fortune **[1]** in hope of a good end. Meaning that he would survive.

Though the odds weren't with him today and all his hope was slowly fading away as the blonde woman before him got nearer and nearer. Closer and closer. Slowly coming towards him as he tries to steady his breaths. Any breath could be his last one right now after all.

This was just like a horror movie for him. In one of those classic horrors when the boy are cornered with no way to flee and the murderer slowly approaches him with a knife that can slice through him at any second. In his case it was kunai's but he didn't bother with that right now because a drunk terminator was after his head after all. And he didn't want an drunk terminator after his head!

He didn't even get a chance to blink as a kunai flew past him hitting the wall next to him. "Ah shit. I'm screwed, Sensei, Wait for me… I'm coming for you!"

He could always confess and all this would be over and he would be forgiven. If it just were that easy. He was a free and prideful man (when he didn't need to eat dark matter, see any ghosts or just enraged an old woman, cat, robot, drunk terminator, gorilla woman or Yato girl) and wouldn't bow down that easily.

However, when he thought about it for a second. One of these things he put down his pride for was, Sadly enough. Before him.

Pride?, truth?, pride?, truth? He sat there thinking about what to do. Even though he didn't have any time for it. The enraged woman was now even closer.

"Fuck pride! What's that anyway? In this day and age life are more important than pride anyway. There isn't even one loyal samurai out there anymore anyway. Ah ha ha ha!"

Just as he was about to break apart and give in on everything the realization hit him. And just as she was about to slice him with the only kunai she had left in her right hand he asked.

\- Why do you care about that kiss anyway. You're a woman of the Yoshiwara right. That kiss shouldn't mean anything anyway. You said that you've given up your identity as a woman. So that kiss shouldn't mean a thing to you anyway. Ah ha ha ha.

He laughed nervously. This comment could either give him a faster way to Sensei and sweet land in other words death or save his life.

\- Eh… Uh… Uhm… you see… what's with those anyway's anyway? You got a "anyway" sickness or something?

\- Don't try to change the subject you drunk terminator! And you said anyway yourself! Oh crap I got off track. Now back to topic.

\- Whose a drunk terminator you useless good-for-nothing samurai?!

And he just destroyed any chance of him getting away alive. Back to praying towards the 7 gods of fortune it is…

* * *

 **[1] - The Seven God's Of Fortune (** **七** **福神** **, shichifukujin in japanese) are seven god's said to bring luck. Why it is seven god's is because the number 7 is seen as a lucky number in japan. The seven gods of fortune are often engraved in netsuke engravings.**

 **Please send a review on what I can improve and sorry for the grammatical errors that probablt exist out there. This was the first kiss scene i've ever written so it was probablt very bad.**


End file.
